Comedy Club

 A friend took me to the comedy club on the weekend for late night laughs. 

I am seriously thinking of joining the ranks, after all, isn't public humiliation good for the soul? Lots of people make fun of me all the time, why not join them and earn some tips at the same time? 

I made a list of all the things people have made fun of me for, seriously, this could be the start of a 15 minute comedy routine. 

Here's my list.

I am a JAFA. Yes I am from Auckland. Everyone outside of Auckland hates Aucklanders and makes fun of us. We're used to it. But can this explain why everyone wants to live here? 

I'm also from Henderson. You would not believe how being from Henderson makes Hendos the butt of all jokes. I have not heard the same thing being said of Swanson or Ranui or Massey people. Is it because we're special?

Skinny. Yes unfortunately this is a constant thing that people comment on. I know, I can never gain weight, but why is this funny? I am not deliberately trying to look malnourished. Come on.

Librarian. This is somehow funny too. People have strange ideas about us, but librarians have seen and read it all before, so you can't pull anything on us.

Asian. Out with the tiger mother jokes, and of course, our bad english. Although being an English major myself, I wonder if I am deliberately trying to buck the stereotype. But at least I am not translating Shakespeare into Shanghai (Chloe Gong) or E M Forster into Singapore (Kevin Kwan). I try to be original.

Female. Of course #metoo. I understand. It is hard to not notice, that yes, I am one of those. 

Christian. Yes we are a peculiar people and there is a reason  why there is a fish symbol on my car. If by chance you crash into me and I die, I would give you my bleeding heart and my last breath.

Working all this into a set might take a bit of work. Instead of this, couldn't I just sing something badly off key on karaoke? I have been practising Tiffany's classic pop version of " I think we're alone now". I was thinking this would be the perfect song to sing two floors up from the library where the music room is, instead of constantly hearing strains of 'I believe in miracles, you sexy thing' being practiced on trombones while the seniors are trying to study.

It starts off  with the lyric 'Children behave...." and goes downhill from there.