Better Work Stories - Bibles in Schools

 Often its the work you don't get paid to do that's the most satisfying. After a hiatus of a few years, I got called to do Bibles in Schools again, where you work with a team of Bible teachers sharing the Word with primary school children. 

I wish every Primary School had this. Because it's the most fun half hour you can have in the week. (Apart from the library at lunchtime, of course). The teachers also get a little break while the children actually sit still and listen to a story from the Bible. Or sometimes they don't sit still, we get them acting out the story, using costumes and props. Or puppets. 

The puppets are the best, though it's Joyce's idea to have the puppets. I just sing the song with a karaoke mic. Then we do a memory verse and if the children remember it next week, they may win a prize. Sourcing prizes is always fun. Stickers are good, or maybe little puzzles, or the coveted WWJD bracelets. 

We have a prayer, and then it's game time. I'd half forgotten the games we used to play so I stuck with statues. This one never fails, and the teachers join in too. You nominate one child to be the DJ and he/she has to pause the play button while everyone dances around, until it's pressed and everyone freezes. If you move you are out. 

Last week we were dancing and singing to 'Count on Me' by Bruno Mars. We were going through the Old Testament story of Abigail, Nabal and David. It was all about making good choices, though I'm sure Abigail regretted marrying Nabal back in the day. Thankfully she was a smart lady and shared her lunch with David, who ended up NOT killing Nabal (who refused to share HIS lunch). Some children pointed out David could have killed Nabal but he didn't. Not killing others is a good choice.

I didn't tell the rest of the story (that Nabal died a few days later of a heart attack) but if you want to find out the gory details you'll have to read the Bible yourself...

After you tell the story children come up and hug you and you go home or to the next school and feel blessed. 

Real Groovy - Father-daughter time

 It was the holy grail of record stores..Real Groovy in Auckland. It was time for a visit. I hadn't been in a few years and found out it had moved to the side of Victoria Street. Dad was keen for a visit and we caught the train in from Sturges Road. It took about 40 minutes and I got nap time, but it meant Dad wouldn't get all stressed about trying to find a park.

This time we had to navigate some escalators upwards toward the glowing neon signs, old jukeboxes, and new record cleaning machines, and there it was, a record collectors paradise where you flicked and browsed to your hearts content. The 12 inch vinyl LPs were all there face out in their shiny mint plastic shrink wrappers, some selling for up to $79.95, there was a new K-pop section, there were still CDs and DVDs, but I was heading for something Queen Street didn't really have anymore - books. 

For the audio-phile, you'd think maybe they'd have audio books as well, but no, its those real eye candy art type books, manga, and musicians biographies and discographies. There's a selection of orange Penguin classics of course - the usual suspects - 1984, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Art of War, Catch 22...and food porn like Snoop Doggy Dog's cookbook, Anthony Bourdain's recipes, and what kind of booze to drink with your gourmet meal. 

And then on the other side are those games and knick nacks that seem drug-induced. Old hippies never die, plus they have all got into the merch. If you have disposable income, what better way to spend it than on some monogrammed hoodie with the name of your favourite band? 

Dad flicked through the 45s that old timers were constantly feeding into Real Groovy's inventory, but he came out empty handed and declared he'd seen them all before. I was after maybe a CD of Selena, since my last purge where all my CDs disappeared from my last giveaway. But Selena was nowhere to be found, or maybe I didn't look hard enough - is she under Pop/Rock, Spanish, or is there some Latino section hiding away somewhere under World music? 

Sometimes it's just sheer luck. She wasn't there but I decided what I was really after was Jagged Little Pill, as last time I had Alanis on cassette and played it to death back in the 90s, and I thought it was high time I revisited her again, even though she's made many albums since, it would be nice to have her on CD. You can't buy CDs from the Warehouse anymore, new stock is the sole domain of JB Hi-fi and you're lucky if there's one in your area. New CDs seem to still sell for $29.95..the same amount they were back in the 90s. 

So a second hand CD made into my bag along with a hardback copy of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. The cashier, who looked young, approved of my purchase and declared he'd read it and was beautifully  written... but I didn't tell him I'd  read it about ten times already and it was engraved on my brain. 

Dad put it on his card that was still racking up points and bought some blank CDs so he could rip/burn more tracks, despite all this being quite illegal, like photocopying entire books.   I started reading The Bell Jar back on the train and was instantly transported back to the New York summer of 1953 where Esther Greenwood was stuck in her Madison Avenue internship when she really just wanted to be a poet. 

We dropped into Unity and Marbecks on the way back too, where I picked up Cranberries No Need To Argue. I was going to have to process my latest work break-up somehow, and singing 'Disappointment'  'Empty' 'Zombie' and 'Daffodil Lament' was probably for me the way forward. I had quite forgotten how painful it had been to be rejected and ditched by so-called high school friends at a Cranberries concert back in the 90s. 

We all live in our own time warps and Dad would always point out some old train fact along the way where this and that used to be in Auckland's ever-changing geography. I ate gummy worms and Dad had a break and a kit kat. As long as we stayed on track it was fine,  there were no Anna Karenina moments and so we rode the Western Line all the way back home. 

Korero

 "What was it like at the fancy private school Whaea?" asked Antariksh. He had been looking after the library while S was away and had managed to keep all the books off the floor and the emoji cushions on the couch. The spider plants looked a bit sad but that was because Anna had hung them outside instead of inside the library and forgot about them when she was off sick.

S wasn't sure what to say. 

"Come on Whaea did they have slime? Or Roblox? Did they have 'Friday Fun Day?"

"Well, one kid had putty he was trying to sell, they had a big black market in comic books, and another kid actually tried to steal my library books to sell them so he could make a profit. And everyone played video games on their own device in the library at lunchtime"

"What?!"

S couldn't believe it either. "They didn't have Friday Fun Day, instead, they had 'Wacky Wednesday".

"What happened on Wacky Wednesday?"

"Instead of wearing their normal school uniforms, the teachers wore them and the students just wore their pyjamas."

"Huh, what about Pizza, did they have pizza challenge?"

"Oh no, they were too fancy for pizza. I just told them if they bought food into the library, I would eat it. They had a cafe, where they made chocolate brownies every morning tea and there was a hot chocolate machine in the staffroom"

"What about the library monitors, did they have badges?"

"Oh yes they had real badges, with gold enamel pins instead of making them ourselves with cardboard and sellotape"

"Wow" said Antariksh. He was thinking he might go there one day. It would be a dream come true."How come you don't work there anymore?"

S didn't want to say she got fired because she made the library too much fun and the Principal was jealous and tried to take over. Instead she smiled and said 'Because I missed you guys too much" 

"Aw, we missed you too" 

Karaoke time

 Meanwhile back at Ranui School Whaea Monica was gearing up for her first School Karaoke party in the Kiwi Block barn.  Matua Ernest had donated his 6 tonne speakers and the mics were all set up. 

"Do we have a playlist Whaea Mons?' asked Matua Ernest. "Or are you just going to play whatever comes up on you-tube?"

Whaea Monica said she was open to suggestions. "We'll have to ask Whaea Selina. She knows everything and she's got all the you-tube links on the library website"

Of course Whaea Selina didn't admit that she didn't actually know EVERYTHING, but she always had an answer to a question and never said she didn't know anything. Well sometimes she did, but then a few seconds later upon thinking about it, she did. 

With TT gone to Canada, it was a bit of a relief and she could now relax and do her library work without interference. Now the books were all in order, and the emoji cushions and flowers were back in their rightful places. Also, the reading tents had returned from storage.

Whaea Monica saw the library was now open and walked in. "Whaea Selina, do we have any suitable songs we could sing and play for our Karaoke party. It has to not be too long, preferably in a language we all understand, and contain some of the curriculum."

Whaea Selina immediately thought of 'Baby Shark' but on second thought that had been played too many times already. "hmm, how about this one. It's by Alanis Morissette and it's called 'You Learn'. Her parents were teachers and she was from the North East (i. e, Canada) and if by the end of the song you hadn't learned anything you surely weren't listening".

Whaea Monica said she'd give it a go.

Touch down

 The airplane soared to the North East just like the origami airplanes made by bored boys in class. TT and Whaea Caryn were having teachery conversations, that mostly consisted of telling each other what the other thought she didn't know.

"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with F' said TT

"Um..fingers? fish? fish fingers?" offered Whaea Caryn, looking at her lunch tray. 

"Uh, no Whaea Caryn good try though"

"Give me a clue" 

"It has seven letters"

Whaea Caryn racked her brains. She'd left her dictionary in the baggage compartment and had to think. 

"Fantasy? Funeral? Fiction?"

"Nope, Nope, Nope...give up?"

Just then the air flight attendant came down the aisle glanced at the teachers and sternly told them they must move, as they were blocking the entrance to the emergency hatch and had to access the fifth philange. The plane was going down. 

"Philange? Does that start with F...?"

"F---! "

"Everybody down!!"

The teachers unbuckled their seatbelts and cowered in recovery position under the tray tables.