Saturday 13 June 2020

On Writing

Writing is a strange thing. It seems to me that it's something everyone can do, but not all do it well, as people just don't have the time to do it. It doesn't require a lot of effort to write down what has happened each day and what's on one's mind and heart, just the setting it down. 

The problem sometimes stems when other people read it, and judge you on what you've written. It shouldn't matter if it's full of typos and bad grammar, the important thing is that you do it. There are editors and proofreaders for that task...for those pernickety perfectionists amongst us, those people who make a living spotting other people's mistakes. 

I used to write everyday from when I could first construct sentences from about age 6. I had a good imagination, I just wrote down what I would imagine, as often it would run away with me anyway and this was normal, it was all part of child's play world, make-believe. I was places in a writers group at school and left to be free with words. The problem soon came when real life got in the way and things would grow dark. Teachers did not like dark stories. 

They liked outlandish plots and things to be kept light and airy. Soon it became a struggle to write anything because what I did in my school holidays was not all that interesting. I would face my ten lines in my school book and struggle to write anything, that I hadn't written before. If I was too honest about stuff, nobody wanted to read it. By third form, it had got too much, I had a teacher write that I wrote things that were too PERSONAL.  In a way, they were encouraging students to lie about things as they didn't want to read about such embarassing or uncomfortable issues as puberty, domestic violence and racism. 

I soon abandoned writing and even cartooning as child's play and didn't write much for ten years. If nobody wanted to read it then what was the point of writing it? Anne Frank wrote her diary but then she didn't survive Auschwitz, or anyone else, it was not as if writing could save me. 

For years I did not write and then the urge came. After a while I slowly got back into it with a smattering of poetry at first. Poetry is all about feelings, and I had an abundance of those. Then a full saga, and short pieces. I joined a writers group, where there were some creative minds, but some of the exercises we did were like the workshoppy 'create a story' mould that was anathema to me. Why even make stuff up when it's all happening in the real world? Couldn't I just write what was on my heart? Well no, one must fictionalise it, and write what will sell. 

I looked into commercial writing - writing for pay. It just seemed like a sell out to me. Besides, nobody would BUY what I was writing, it was too raw.  Copy writers wrote nonsense for advertisers. What sold really was gossip. I even had a job in a company that  captioned photos that people would publish in women's magazines, as what people wore was way more important than the people themselves. It was keywording and I would describe stock photos mostly, so if it was a pretty landscape I would type in 'sky' 'tranquil scene' 'horizon' 'pastoral' . I was paid by the hour (not by word) so I was writing but I don't think you could call it real writing in any sense. A monkey could have done it. 

After extricating from that job of 8 hours 9-5 sitting in front of a computer with a supervisor breathing down my neck in case I made a mistake, I returned to gardening because at least that was semi-creative and didn't involve a lot of grammar, syntax, or idioms. But then I find I had to write things down in that job too because I have what lots of people have, a limited memory and I would forget things. 

So that is why I started my garden blog because I was so bad at taking photos and remembering everything I had done. And that is mainly why I write...because if I don't, I will forget things and that's the plain truth. I don't make things up or try to give things a happy ending...because life goes on regardless, but at least I would have captured a moment in time when something glorious has happened, like a flower appearing or a delightful discovery or just the plain hard work gardening can be. And it also helps if a plant has suddenly died and I'm trying to rack my brains on what plant exactly was that and where did I plant it...? 

Writing, as reporting or journalism is often a lost art, as newspapers fold, and people don't have time to read anymore. A picture can say a 1000 words true but often it can be deceptive and won't necessarily tell you really felt at the time. For that, words are gold. So sorry instagram I'm not about to sign up and be your loyal customer. 

As I type this I am not sure who (if anyone) will read this but if it's you, you can either write back or write your own blog and share the joys of writing. Secretly...it's actually a lot of fun to write stuff but don't take my word for it... just do it.