Dusty's Catalogue

 Dusty! You've had over a year, or maybe two, to compile the catalogue. What have you got on your list? Asked Whaea Selina.

She was a bit exasperated, and her hair was now changing colours again. Sometimes it was red, sometimes pink, sometimes gold, at other times, multicoloured. She just wished it was purply blue, so she could tie it in a bun like all the other librarians with specs. But it just wouldn't behave, and now she was losing some - thanks to Dusty. 

Dusty stretched and yawned. With an indication of a whisker and a flick of her tail, she motioned toward a book that had a piece of paper inserted inside, giving a list of titles.

Great Writers and the Cats who Owned them

The Complete Cat Breed Book

The Ultimate Cat Book

Mittens

Cats with Jobs

Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats

A Streetcat Named Bob

My Cat Likes to Hide in Boxes

Scattercat

Mog

Cat Kid Comic Club

I am a Cat

They weren't in any alphabetical order so there was more work to do. Whaea Selina wondered if the library work would ever end. After all, they had to run out of money at some point so conceivably they could stop, after books would stop being published and sold and readers turned into tv and computer viewer addicts. 

Dusty, I tried to get my friends interested in reading books but none of them are. I don't even know why they are friends with me. I have nothing to talk about with them. Other people ask me 'What do you do' and then when I say I'm a librarian they just look at me blankly. Whaea Selina sighed. She was talking to her cat again. Dusty never looked at Whaea Selina blankly. She usually had her eyes closed, taking a nap, or a look that said 'I'm waiting for my feed'. It really didn't matter if Whaea Selina read books or not, just as long as she wasn't getting into any trouble. 

 

Secret Garden, The

 the girl’s name is Mary

she’s an orphan
and goes to live on the yorkshire moors
in a rambling estate
with a dark secret
She’s from India
and her parents died from cholera

this much I know
she is miserable
the rains come down
the frost
the wind
the darkness
and gloomy cloud

then God shines a light
through the drizzle
and creates a rainbow
there is hope
after all

he sends her a robin
and a boy
a friend

then spring comes again
and the flowers bloom
she is safe in her garden

Dusty's books

 Dusty was set to work tidying the library. But mostly she set about chasing lizards that were hiding in the corners and pouncing on them. 

Oh no, thought Whaea Selina. This is what you get when you have cats in the library. I shall have to employ someone else. 

She called up her database and looked at her WILs Workers In Libraries. These were the children who had nothing much to do at lunchtime except be bopped by flying balls. This got a bit old after a while. They didn't ask for much pay, perhaps just a smiley stamp on the hand. 

Whaea Selina had removed the working computer and reconfigured the dashboards until there was only ONE button to press - return or issue. It couldn't fail and made a satisfying beep when a book was issued. 

This was to stop gamers from infiltrating the library and taking up all the bandwidth data, and throwing all the books out the window. The last time she had a machine check in the books, it cost so much in power and electricity and lost time with all the whirring noises it made that she ended up unplugging it along with the TV and the ipad and the telephone too and taking them on a long trip to the e-waste collection where the equipment got turned into TikTok machines. They had to now consider the nationwide ban of 'smartphones' in schools.  But would children still come to the library when there was only one button to push and couldn't text their friends? 

 At least cats had zero interest in computers apart from sleeping on top of them. 

Dusty, what do you think of this noob? Dusty looked up. 

The book was about Minecraft and it had so much squares in it that it made Whaea Selina's eyes swim. Dusty swished her tail no. 

Or this one? My Baby Kitten Book.

Yes. Dusty swished her tail again. 

Hmm I may put you in Collection Development instead of Circulation. Dusty purred. She was in charge of the library kitty too and there was now an undisclosed amount to be spent on new books. 

Dusty

 The shelves needed dusting. There was nothing quite for it but to rearrange them into some sort of order, after the spines had faded and the paper had yellowed, like expired cans at the back of the pantry cupboard. Who knew what toxic brew or marvellous medicine awaited in those perishable mystery containers.

Whaea Selina assessed the library. Definitely needed some carnivorous plants to eat all the flies that weren't being caught by the cobwebs. Everything is so last century but those computers and devices are shiny new black things with push buttons don't even work!   How will I ever cope? She wandered about in a daze. 

I'm sorry, we can't pay you, said the powers that be. 

Oh, she replied. I'll just do what I can. 

This involved some rearrangement of the furniture. This was hotly contested territory. I need someone to be here all the time. I know I'll call Mr Muggs.

Mr Muggs was not available, but he sent a look-a-like cat rescued from the SPCA  Whaea Selina called Dusty. She was black and white and had a very long tail, which was very furry and could also double as a bookmark. 

Dusty was to be the new library assistant. 

Monkeys on computers

 At Creek Valley School, the blue monkeys had overtaken the library. They climbed the shelves and typed Shakespeare essays on the computers. Miss Selina had tried to ban computers from the library after they were handing in book reviews on behalf of the students as the previous librarian hadn't taken the monkeys with her. She was suspicious whenever a perfectly typed book review was handed in and preferred handwritten ones complete with spelling mistakes, for she knew that that likely hadn't been a cut and paste Chat GPT copy job. 

Mrs Hardback, the Headmistress however was all for technology for she had bought the computers for the school years ago and wanted everyone to use them, eventually rendering all pens and pencils and paperbacks obsolete. She didn't forsee the time when the library would become a video game parlour. 

Miss Selina voiced her concerns but Mrs Hardback had lots of money invested in this new technology, and nothing left for books, so when it came time for budget cuts to be made she took her scissors and cut Miss Selina's name out of the school newsletter.

We already have a Mrs Chan so, we don't need two of them, it will only confuse everyone, declared Mrs Hardback, who ruled the school without question. Then she readvertised Miss Selina's job, but there were no takers, so she poached a librarian from the other school who was under the impression that the Creek Valley school library had more books than the one she was already in, where in reality it was just a dark, windowless room full of sleeping computers. And monkeys. 

Traffic on Lincoln Road

 Pablo and Mr Muggs met up at La Porchetta. Mr Muggs really wanted to cross the road, but he was a bit chicken. He wanted to get to the other side to the Bird Barn. Whaea Selina used to go to Pomaria School, I know because I saw her school photo in the 'Find Whaea Selina' book. And that's just down the road from the Bird Barn. 

Mr Muggs was thinking of the tasty birds. Pablo's mouth was full of cheese. He was wary though and warned Mr Muggs about crossing the road there were way too many cars and a cat pancake was a real possibility. There was a long line of late model SUVs snaking along to Waipareira Avenue, and trucks hearing toward the supermarkets, and buses, and Toyotas, Suzukis, Hondas, Subarus, Daihatsus, Mitsubishis, queuing toward the five petrol stations and drive through takeaways. 

If only we had wings and could fly. 

I thought it was the 21st century and we would have flying cars by now. 

Lincoln Road stretched toward the horizon of the Waitakere Ranges. It could be cleared of all traffic, and turned into a runway, and all the airplanes could land and park near the Hangar Bar, or Sunderland School,  and we could send out a search helicopter to locate Whaea Selina again. 

The birds at the Bird Barn might agree to this plan, if they had not thought of this first. They knew something the cat and the mouse didn't. 

Goodhome

 Pablo paused in his tracks. This was most unusual. For the past four years, Whaea Selina had been turning up at Hells Pizza every Thursday at Lunchtime to deliver pizza to Ranui children, and it was only by their reading efforts that Whaea Selina had been able to survive because Lord knows that she couldn't subsist on the cold chicken and carrots school lunches. By extension Pablo had been eating whatever had been left over if it hadn't been snatched up by scabbers.

He thought she might have continued on, but the Creek Valley children were too well fed to need Hells Pizza, or maybe, they preferred the fancier Sal's Pizza? It had special sauce flown in especially from New York. But there was no sign of a reading deal on their door. 

Pablo turned to go and crossed to the Goodhome Gastropub. He smelled a faint whiff of cheese, and there was a sign outside their door. It read Quiz Nite Wednesdays. And inside, he noticed there were...books! They lined the shelves above the tables and near the pokie machines too. This was a definitely a pub Whaea Selina would patronise. 

Pablo was in luck, it was Wednesday. He just had to wait around past Happy Hour and see if Whaea Selina was at the Quiz Nite. Surely she would be there, they always needed her to answer random quiz questions. He recalled the last Kahoot quiz she held there was a question that most smart children got right and only the non-readers could fail.

Why must we be quiet in the library?

a) There's a baby in there and it's sleeping

b) If its noisy Whaea Selina gets a headache

c) So we can read our books in peace

d) So we don't have to call noise control and pay a huge fine

On the trail

 Mr Muggs tuned left and Pablo turned right. They had decided to split up and then meet up in the middle at La Porchetta if neither had not found Miss Selina by then. La Porchetta had cheese, and it also had fancy feast Italian food. 

Mr Muggs was a bit reluctant to leave Creek Valley School though, because it was rumoured to have good butter chicken at the school cafe. But he knew that even if it had, Whaea Tilot would likely not approve as only she made authentic butter chicken. She got the children to grind the spices especially in the mornings, she never took shortcuts. However Mr Muggs knew even butter chicken would not keep Miss Selina at a school. Something had happened that had made her leave. Perhaps she was offered better food at Mr Lobster. And the closest school there was West Auckland Middle School. 

Mr Muggs made his way down Central Park Drive. He passed the Chipmunks Playground and cafe (but no library). No S. He passed the Kings Plant Barn, which looked like an MLE. No S either, but maybe it was just not a planting day. Learning Network hadn't seen her recently either, though one lady said yes she was here once enquiring about books. Mr Muggs noticed that 'Teaching to the North East' was on sale. He thought TT should have bought the teachers 'Teach like a Pirate' instead.  It had a better looking cover.  There was a long stretch of shops and businesses before he got to Mr Lobster. The only thing, when he looked in all the female customers sort of looked like S with black hair and pale skin and he couldn't tell which one was her. 

Meanwhile Pablo was making enquiries at Hell's Pizza. No sorry we haven't had any orders all year from any schools. Not even Ranui. The children must have given up on reading books! Pablo was aghast. Had they lost their appetites?  Now what was he going to do? 

Better Work Stories - Fashion designer

 One of my fellow  teachers was looking at my job situation. Of course nobody now has money to pay a librarian, and so she looked at my hands like she was a gypsy fortuneteller and told me that I was to be a fashion designer. 

I nearly fell out of my chair. 

There is no way I could be a fashion designer. I don't even have a sewing machine. And I didn't feel like I could really draw what clothes people could wear only to have them made in a sweat shop in Bangladesh, Vietnam or China where all clothes are manufactured these days, as they sure are not made here. 

I have lived long enough into the 21st century to know that every decade in the past has reached the nadir of fashion and now anyone can now just wear anything they like. It's only in certain places, like schools and working in retail that you have to wear ugly uniforms. 

So if you wanted to wear a meat dress or all your soft toys like Lady Gaga, you now can, and nobody would bat an eye, and even wearing your underwear on the outside is acceptable. Girls can wear pants and boys can wear skirts and everyone can wear a pink t-shirt. I remember years ago we had this 'Trash to Fashion' parade at the Trust Stadium, where everyone literally wore rubbish. What creative things you can do with black plastic bin bags knows no bounds. 

On mufti day at school everyone was wearing either track pants and sweat shirts, or, if they were children, their onesies and unicorn horns/Disney princess dresses, or superhero costumes. It was like Armageddon Comic Con Cosplay meets Book Week. If it was not mufti day, everyone would be wearing blazers and ties and looking like they went to Hogwart's School of Withcraft and Wizardry, or if doing sports, like the All Blacks team with advertising branding prominently displayed, and in mourning because black is the new black. Or something.

My preference is actually bathrobe and/or toga/wrap/pareu/sarong/lavalava, because you can just tie that around your body without having to sew anything. Security blankets are the new hoodie. 

But who am I to dictate what anyone else wears? I think it's only because I am harbouring a secret desire to have everyone dress in stripes for the largest Where's Wally Day ever, and get into the Guinness Book of World Records, but of course that's just crazy talk again and not going to happen as long as we have people that take their day jobs seriously. Everyday cannot be a party. We are in an election year as well, so all the political parties are parading around in the respective colours/gang patches and people are wary of showing their affiliations. So if I became a fashion designer, I might only add to the confusion. 

Last few years have become a bit of a masquerade though but I've just stuck with the surgical blue masks and scrubs look because its the fashion to look like a zombie who just got out of a hospital bed, with bed hair and bandages. It's fun to dress up I suppose, but to make a living out of it I am not sure. It just might be creating more work for the people that have to do the laundry (me). 

Well, it was either that or work at SpecSavers like another teacher suggested. 

Mr Muggs investigates

 Mr Muggs the library cat was at Creek Valley School after having crossed the bridge of troubled waters, to find S was no longer there either. Well she WAS here, said his sidekick Pablo, and there was evidence that she HAD been there...Mr Muggs glanced around and saw all the fiction chapter books had been genrified, the non fiction had been sorted into Dewey Decimal, and the lounge chairs had been feng shuied. There were also tell-tale spider plants. They could only come from one plant the mother of all plants, and Mr Muggs remembered S had told him she originally got the first baby from Henderson Intermediate. 

But he must have missed the memo because none of the teachers ever remembered seeing her. She was like this invisible ghost librarian that only the children ever saw and you could never rely on what children told you. 

Well look at this, said Pablo. There was a note on the noticeboard in the office that read 'You're cool'. Who would that be? We all know teachers in this school aren't that cool. None of them wore dark glasses yet could still read a book like S did. 

There were two graduate bears wearing their caps and gowns sitting on the top shelf. Which was labelled 'Top Shelf'.One had an engineering degree and the other had studied business. Wouldn't they know? 

Ah Miss Selina or rather 'Mistress Selina' yes said the bears she had been here they confirmed as they had presided over her piece of paper that was her MLIS degree. But it had mysteriously disappeared and was now replaced by a picture of a bookworm eating a book. 

Where did she go? Back to Ranui School? Not likely. The green gorilla was still there and hungry. Mr Muggs consulted his Wises Map and looked at all the schools in the area. Pablo would know where she had gone. He had a good nose for anyone who had the cheese touch...and it seemed Miss Selina inadvertently had the cheese touch. 

Pablo said she was definitely here as I scoured the staffroom and she left her china soup spoon, a rice bowl and some chopsticks. That could only belong to her as all the other staff subsisted on coffee and cereal. Pablo suggested they ask Hell's Pizza as he was really hoping she did take up the job delivering pizza to those who've read 7 books on a full-time basis, now that she had the cheese touch. It was just down the road. 

Mr Muggs investigated the returns trolley. He saw there was a book that had just been returned. It was called 'The Man who Ate Lincoln Road'. I reckon she would have gone one better than Hell's Pizza. Besides this book is a little out of date don't you think? It still has Valentines in it! 

Pablo agreed. Mr Lobster Yum Cha restaurant it is then. 

Better Work Stories - Vet Nurse

 This might have been the perfect job for me. I looked after cats in the cattery and prepared pets and their anxious owners for repair. Of course I didn't mind cleaning up cat poo and bird poo and doing all those things only a crazy cat lady could do. Play with yarn, roll around in catnip, talk in cat language etc. After all, Catwoman was my supposed alter ego. I had nine lives, and spent most of them on the catwalk, treading the fine balance of navigating the pitfalls, barking dogs, and humans who just didn't understand cats. 

You had horse whisperers and baby whisperers, I was the cat meower. I had about five cats in my charge and one cat that had 17 kittens (it was the neighbours, they took no responsibility for any of her pregnancies) but we loved her so much that we were willing to rescue her from the SPCA and give her a good, even better life chez the Chan family. We had chinese food of course, what cat doesn't like mum's cooking. 

My vet nurse description wasn't much it was basically caring for animals. However at the Swanson Vet it wasn't just cats, though they operated a cattery, but all other pets, including dogs and mice. Unfortunately for me, dogs and cats generally do not like each other. And in the operating theatre, I had to witness dogs getting their balls chopped off and mice being euthanised. I was stoic though and this of course came with the job. I would hold their paws while the deed was being done. 

The price people paid for their pets was pretty steep, though I suspect children cost a whole lot more. The only thing that undid me was the medical smell, of dried blood and disinfectant and iodine, that in an enclosed space made me feel very dizzy and faint, so I didn't last very long in that job and had to quit. 

I do wonder sometimes what turn my life would have taken had I had a stronger constitution and stuck with what was the animal division of Shortland Street. When Socks was nearing the end of his life mum made an appointment with the Vet, but he knew what was coming and snuck away. So we never did find Socks though sometimes his ghost comes to visit me at odd times (usually at night) waking me up but I just open the window and say go to the flowers where he's supposed to be sleeping. 

Every hospital needs a cat though and Waitakere has one called Daisy. Though we didn't see her there last time mum got drained of blood. I now avoid hospitals whenever I can because of all the traumatic memories, long buried,  of nearly losing my life in one. Though I sometimes think they could do with better books instead of Women's Weekly magazines in their waiting rooms, circa 2002, though it is entertaining to read the latest gossip out loud to patients who really really want to know just what the Royal Family are up to.  

Mum was very disappointed I did not become a nurse like the heroines on Shortland Street that she watches every night at 7pm. I remind her she already has one son who is a surgeon, she doesn't really need me in the medical profession. Don't I have enough drama in my life already? If the DHB had proper libraries for patients in hospitals and I could just go round reading bedtime stories and singing lullabies to distressed patients I could possibly do that, but whoever heard of such a thing in New Zealand?

The MLE

 Princess Anne was keen to show off Avonlea Private School to her visitors who were an international congress from CCTV. This included the formidable Mrs Trunchbull, former Headmistress of Crunchem Hall who was utilising the barn as a MLE - modern learning environment for her brand of special callisthenics. Whaea Caryn had the feeling that she actually was training her pupils for the circus but she didn't want to say in case she was wrong to a two-time Olympic Gold medal winner of the hammer throw.

They entered the barn where indeed there were bales of hay piled up from the summer harvest. Mrs Trunchbull had just been transferred from Crunchem Hall now that it had been bought out and rebranded 'The Cool School'. Miss Honey  had taken over management. 

Miss Honey! Spat Mrs Trunchbull. The children adored Miss Honey who was originally a  lowly librarian until child prodigy Matilda appeared on the scene. It was only because Matilda was a genius and actually read the books that nobody else in school read that she was able to put the fear of God into Mrs Trunchbull, who had to admit defeat when she was outsmarted in the school spelling bee for being unable to spell Missisissipi. Matilda then appointed Miss Honey to the top job after proving that Mrs Trunchbull had cheated her out of her inheritance. It was all very messy but it was all in writing in the annals of Roald Dahl. 

Princess Anne had kindly taken Mrs Trunchbull in as PE teacher where she was now in her element, and now her bullying had an outlet when she wielded her ice hockey sticks in the cold Canadian winters. Her team was now the main feeder to the Toronto Maple Leafs.

TT was impressed with the school and wondered if she could apply for a transfer. Whaea Caryn was holding out though, her husband back in the Land of the Long White Cloud had been calling her saying he was unable to cope with her being so far away and that he needed her back as she was the only one who knew how to change the lightbulbs in their new housing compound on Teacher's Row. 

Whaea Caryn was only slightly annoyed. I thought I left plenty of soy wax candles in the cupboard! Surely hubby knows how to light a candle. She now had to spend some time writing step-by-step instructions in an email and a flow chart diagram and several graphs.  TT was glad to help with this. He just needs to be taught Whaea Caryn. I understand, we are so busy teaching tamariki that we neglect our husbands. But that requires another school...

Princess Anne of Green Gables

 Whaea Caryn and TT finally arrived on Prince Edward Island after their successful CCTV conference. They were meeting Princess Anne of Green Gables, who was Headmistress of Avonlea Private School and was giving the teachers of the Land of the Long White Cloud a tour of the campus, of where she had been based for 16 years.

Yes I grew up here, said Princess Anne. She insisted on being called Princess and not 'Principal'. Her red hair was piled up into a bun on the top of her head, and she wore a long dress with puffy sleeves. In her hand she wielded a long rod, which had measurements on it, and said it was her 'pointing stick' and that all veteran teachers had to have them. We have authority to rule, thus, we must never be seen without our rulers, advised Princess Anne. She smiled, and tapped her pointing stick to the ground. 

When I was a girl I was the naughtiest, most rebellious child in class and could never stop talking. I also broke a slate over poor Gilberts head as he pulled my braids. He is now the caretaker of the school. Actually he is over there right now. Princess Anne pointed her stick to a burly man over in the far field who was raking autumn leaves into a large pile.

TT looked around the old schoolhouse. It had not changed since 1911. There was a bell at the top and the traditional blackboard and rows of hinged desks. Do you teach here?

This is where I do my history lessons, said Princess Anne. But I have also installed CCTV behind the blackboards so we can do zoom online learning for the 777 other students who've enrolled. My face to face class is restricted to 66 lucky pupils. 

Do you have a library? Asked Whaea Caryn. She glanced at the Canadian flag held aloft outside. It was fluttering in the cool breeze. It swelled her heart with pride to see the red maple leaf, to her it looked like a red leaf shaped love heart, and was really her ace in her pack of teaching cards. She always played the Canada Card whenever teachers questioned her methods. 

Princess Anne snorted. A library? Don't be absurd. The only books we have is my hagiography series written by Lucy Maud Montgomery. That's the only books we need to read at this school. 

But where do you go to relax and read books? asked TT. She was thinking the extra space could be another classroom. 

Princess Anne said there was no need for a library. We don't have bean bags at this school. If children want to read books and roll in the hay, they can do it in the barn. She pointed her stick in a north easterly direction, and sure enough, there was a big red barn that looked like a giant MLE. 

Better work stories - Usher

 One of my friends now works as security for all the big concerts and sporting events around Auckland. I wouldn't do that as I'd probably be beaten up and flattened, but I did have a similar job once in my 20s at the University when showed people to their seats at the theatre, where I wasn't paid but got to see a free show. It was usually a play put on by the Auckland Theatre Company. 

I had no real aspirations to be an actress and being in the limelight but dressing all in black and being invisible was something I could do. My boss at the time thought I was terrible as I was supposed to sell programmes for $8 a pop and I never sold any, as I thought people should get their money's worth of tickets that were already expensive as it is and didn't need to shell out for the program to go with it. Most people who I asked if they would like a program declined. We were all poor students!

I don't recall many of the plays, except for No 2. in which Madeleine Sami did an Robin Williams/Aladdin virtuoso performance of as many different Indian accents as she could, and one play (was it The Graduate? or A Streetcar Named Desire) where Elizabeth Hawthorne streaked naked across the stage. It was theatre, anything goes. 

After the play was over and everyone ushered out, my boss who had his eye on me said he was watching me all the time and I was a bit unnerved by this. He was probably bored watching the same play over and over every night and thought I was much better entertainment. I was doing my English papers at the time and studying drama so I thought I should at least see one play. 

The only time I got up the courage to act was when we acted out a scene from Top Girls by Caryl Churchill in the drama studio. I played the waitress so and didn't actually have to say any lines. Which was alright but I ruined the scene because I made believed I was a clumsy waitress who dropped all the food. 

After my stint as an usher was over I had two big black bin bags full of black clothing enough for several funerals so ended up donating them to the Salvation Army. I preferred the big broadway musical type shows to the serious political and fringe ones anyway but that kind of theatre never got a look-in at the University. My boss was dismayed that I would sometimes fall asleep on the back row though actually I slept anywhere and sometimes in lectures if they were too boring as well. 

Unlike in Shakespearean times, the patrons of this theatre were not riff-raff groundlings who snacked and drank mugs of mead while watching the show. They did not have rotten tomatoes tucked up their sleeves or a hook to drag anyone off the stage. This crowd was very polite and clapped at the end, because it was usually the sons and daughters of the wealthy scions of Auckland (doctors, lawyers, engineers)  having a night out at the theatre and acting for fun if they couldn't be full-time on Shortland Street. 

Book Week

 Next week is Book Week.

On Monday we will read all books about the moon.

On Tuesday we are all going to 'tues' our own books.

On Wednesday the books will be buddied up and there will be a mass wedding where the books get married to each other.

On Thursday, Thor will make a guest appearance in the library and there will be a culling of bad books

On Friday, it will be cookbook day where everyone brings their favourite recipe to make a cookbook and food and drink WILL be allowed in the library

On Saturday, the books will have a nap, and everyone will relax in reading hammocks and beanbags and tripillows and bibliotherapists will be on hand with cucumbers for sore eyes.

On Sunday, we will read aloud from the Holy Bible

Wait, said the children. Our school isn't open on Saturday or Sunday, we can't get into the library on those days! Whaea Selina just laughed and said that's why you need to find the book with the golden ticket inside. 

Better Work Stories - Born again

 I found out I couldn't be a born again Christian and a librarian at the same time, at least, not in the public library. Nativity displays had been disapproved of if not banned, and Bible reading was not to be done in work time, but I could do it on my days off. And at lunchtime, we had a Wednesday group at a Bible ministry called Bibles in Action where others met for prayer and read from the Word for Today.

Jesus saved and delivered me from being a weirdo. I no longer did yoga or reiki or any of those new age things. I didn't need to read Rainbow magazine and be pyschic or clairvoyant or whatever magic they were trying to tout. The books about Jesus in the library were alright, but some didn't seem to know who He was and claimed he was made up. I thought right, God, show me who you are. 

I needed a Bible so walked into the Bibles in Action shop. I can't afford a new Bible can you give me a spare old copy, like those King James Bibles. The only thing about the Bible was I could understand the stories in the shorter New Testament about Jesus as being superhuman but God? He was a mystery to me. The Alpha course seemed to say He is spirit, but I didn't really understand how that worked. 

I had to read the big Old Testament to find out. I don't know what happened, but what was before just words on a page become illuminated. It was the story of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. And there it was, Eve, desiring to be wise, was tricked by the serpent. She was like me. I had done a foolish thing wanting what was forbidden. My prayer was answered.

Forgive me God, I was like Eve. Then as I read on, Genesis became quite the story, and I read on and on and on until Mum became concerned I was reading the Bible too much. I read the whole Bible in a few months. 

I asked my boss if we could have Bible reading in the library. Just people taking turns to read the Bible out loud. That would be the way to share it. I thought it was a great story and it was all true. He said I could only do it outside work time. Thankfully I had Fridays off and so I gathered friends and those interested and we read the Bible on Fridays out loud until we were told off by people studying that we were too noisy, so we went tried to book a meeting room instead. 

And after that I had been working in the library for seven years God convinced me that it was time to have a break. Mum was not happy but there wasn't much she could do. They weren't giving out any paid sabbaticals but God was going to lead me somewhere else. 

Babysitters Club #100

 If there's one thing a librarian appreciates, is a long running series that hooks readers for the rest of their free reading time. 

.Which brings me to the Baby-Sitters Club. If you were a girl like I was in the 80/90s this was the series your big sister read and ordered from the Scholastic Lucky Book Club. It was about a bunch of American girls who start a baby-sitting club not because they need the money but because Kristy's solo mum needs a babysitter and was ringing around for a sitter. So Kristy calls three of  her 12 and 13 year old seventh grade girlfriends together to form a club at her neighbour Claudias house (because she has her own phone line!) and the Baby Sitters club is born. The first book was called Kristy's Great Idea and every book thereafter featured a different club member narrating their own book and experiences baby-sitting, friendships, and sometimes fall-outs.  

Never mind that these girls are actually underage and might have needed to be babysat themselves - this is fiction remember! They did not actually babysit babies either. All this is candy to a young reader perhaps wanting to be part of a cool club themselves but probably not able to find the time - they met three times a week and were extremely professional and committed, they had a President, a Vice President, a Treasurer and a Secretary and ran all things like clubs do with membership dues and a minutes book, and planned sleepovers and pizza parties with the proceeds from their babysitting jobs. Kristy ran it as a business, she was bossy, but as far as I know, every club member respected each others different personalities and roles and nobody tried to steal each others jobs or embezzle money. 

My sister bought the series and she must have collected up to book #45 until she grew out of them. I was reading the junior series Baby-sitters Little Sister about Kristy's 7 year old step-sister Karen. Except Karen was the star of each and every title that also ran on forever although I think I only had the first 10 or so books. 

Every character was always described in great detail at the beginning of the books, their looks, personality and family background. Girls were extremely self-aware, so there was Kristy the boss, tomboy who's dad abandoned the family, Mary-Anne the shy sensitive listener only child who's mother died when she was a baby, Claudia the Japanese-American funky creative artist with the genius sister and Stacy the permed blonde New York sophisticate diabetic who's parents got divorced. 

More sitters joined later on and the series became extremely popular. I thought I had left the series behind in my childhood after I got into the classics and wasn't reading about tweens anymore. I skipped Sweet Valley High and went right into Gone with the Wind, War and Peace and Jane Austen.

The Baby sitters Club never died though as it came back as Graphic Novels and became the most popular books in the school library (amongst girls) with new full colour editions. The first seven books flew off the shelves and totally outpaced the original chapter books. Even when they came out with fresh covers and Netflix series tie-in. 

I've now gotten into the e-books editions of the original chapter books on the public library's Libby platform as the paperbacks we had to ditch. My sister had stored them under the house I have no idea why - and they'd gotten mouldy. Was she hoping to save them to give to our younger cousins or what because that moment had totally passed them by and they were into Harry Potter and the Divergent series. 

It's interesting reading the rest of the series as an adult and finding out that new club members had been added, some of the girls start dating and that, shock horror for the hundredth book Kristy decides to disband the Baby-sitters Club. Then there's all the spin off books, the mysteries, the super specials in which the Baby sitters travel far and wide (how can they afford??) and the diary series, and even after their 8th grade graduation, a Forever Friends series in which their friendships are explored after they stop baby sitting. The entire Baby-Sitters Club series is more than 200 books which possibly beats Danielle Steel's output but maybe just a bit below Nora Roberts and James Patterson. 

If there's one series to binge read and like me you  don't really get the whole manga thing, want to avoid any cringy sex scenes because secretly, you never really grew up anyway -  the Baby-Sitters Club may be just your gateway drug into the delights of reading. 

Sometimes boys are shamed into reading Baby-sitters Club by their teachers but actually I know quite a few liked them, even though it was mostly a girls club (Mary Annes boyfriend was an associate member)   but honestly I think there could worse things adolescent tweens could be reading, and nobody practised witchcraft or fell in love with a vampire or zombie in this series. Thank you Ann M Martin - who knew you would create so many happy readers. 

Library wishlist (17)

 The garden outside was flourishing. The children had decided after finding out where sugar came from, and whether they could grow it themselves. This was why half the school field was now sown in sugar cane, a quarter had maple tree saplings, and the far corner had wildflowers and was  dedicated to beehives. 

Where are we going to play rugby? Asked Mr Kell. He was a bit annoyed and would have to revise his sports curricula. 

The children invented a new game, or rather, they convinced Mr Kell that hide and seek was actually a better game to spend time playing than rugby. 

But how will we compete against other schools? This isn't right. 

The children wrote letters to the other schools saying they could come over and learn how to play hide and seek too. And they would also make up a new haka. This time, they would dig kumara pits in the field so that they could literally act out the haka. Everyone thought this was a wonderful idea.

Even the lunch ladies got into growing kumara which spread over the rest of the field. 

Whaea Selina rubbed out Pyjama Day, that was over, and it was now Matariki. They were going to have a Library Lockdown where those who remembered to wear their pyjamas, bring their cuddly toys and books were now treated to what Kahu 4 and 5 always wanted - A knock down, drag out Pillow Fight.

The children got all excited and said it was going to be even better than Ranui's Got Talent. 

The prizes were assigned - 3rd Prize - Bunny slippers, 2nd Prize - Fluffy Comforter and 1st Prize Reading Tent.

The 'no food and drinks' in the library rule was broken, and now steaming mugs of hot chocolate and marshmallows would be served along with the enormous hangi that had been cooking for two whole days. 

Whaea Sheree and Deputy Principal Alissa kept the parents at bay by holding a Quiz Nite in the hall, at the same time. 

Let's do a maths round and a spelling round, suggested Whaea Sheree. I want to see if the children are teaching their parents anything. Mr Kell asked if there was going to be a sports round. No said Whaea Sheree, you'll be too busy refereeing the Pillow Fight. 😀

Better Work Stories - Come to Jesus

 My come to Jesus moment was then. I had a vision when I thought Jesus had forgotten all about me. I had worked on Sundays because I never had any church commitments and the library was a seven day operation. I knew Jesus lived in churches as I had gone to one once and everyone talked about Him there, but, since my family only went to churches when there were weddings I thought that was the extent of it. I wasn't going to marry anybody anyhow, so really,  what use was church for me?

Then I remembered that Jesus laid hands on people and healed them. At least, that's what the Bible had said although I had given up on the Bible long ago when I couldn't make sense of it. Christians were constantly going on about the Bible that they were known as Bible Bashers at school and people to avoid as do-gooders and ones who got married as soon as they left school, because it was such a big deal to be married in church, in a big white gown, and have lots of children, even though having children was expensive. This was not going to be my fate. My mother made it quite clear that Christians were deluded religious people who were only after money and they were just as bad as other people but just had a get-out-of-hell back up plan. 

God doesn't look after you, I do, she said. And when you die, you are not going into Jesus loving arms, you'll just be dead. 

Thanks mum, I thought. Real comforting. Except those Christians seemed so certain in their beliefs. They weren't burning paper money so that their hungry ghosts would be appeased with cash in the afterlife of hell. Their souls would just sleeping in peace and waiting to be resurrected in heaven. 

I decided to rebel and find out more about Jesus anyway, in case he was real and not just a figment of my imagination, or as Richard Dawkins put it, having a  God Delusion.  So in my time spend shelf-checking the non-fiction I went to the 200s and secretly borrowed as many books about Jesus as I could. In the name of research. 

And lo and behold my workplace was even having what they called an Alpha Course for anyone curious about what this whole Christianity thing was. They were even giving out free breakfast at the staff cafeteria. If Jesus wasn't real at least I would be having scrambled eggs and baked beans on toast and I wouldn't have to spend too much of my pay on buying lunch. This time I would pay attention instead of reading my own books and being told off by the Bible teacher at primary school. 

Library Wishlist (16)

 Whaea Caryn reckoned she knew her way around the library. She also knew where Anne of Green Gables was located.

She looked amused as TT headed towards the Rainbow Section of the library where all the ROYGBIV books were and tried to find it under the Green category. 

Ha! She doesn't know Anne of Green Gables is under M. 

Sometimes Whaea Caryn could be sneaky when she knew something nobody else did. It was a way of giving herself a Gold Star for being super smarter than everyone else. Whaea Caryn casually walked over to the M section, in the fiction, certain the book would be there. She forgot that the Childrens and Teens books were separated from the Adults books though and soon found herself looking at a shelf of murder mysteries. 

Murder Mysteries were books where somebody dies and nobody knows who murders them. Everyone says 'it wasn't me' until a super clued up Detective saves the day by revealing it on the last page. The moral of these stories seemed to be - if you murder someone, you just don't tell anyone and keep them guessing, instead of being honest about it. Only Adults could read these stories, children didn't have the patience. Also, they weren't that interested in death and dying. Children were more interested in reading ghost and zombie stories where the deceased came back to haunt everyone. 

One book stood out from the rest because it didn't have a black cover or spine like the rest of the murder mysteries did. Her teacher's intuition told her that this book was in the wrong place. 

She read the title. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty.

Liane Moriarty? Was this what L M Montgomery's real name was? Truthfully she had forgotten. She picked up the book anyway. She read the back cover, hoping to find the answers. It seemed to be about a Primary School Quiz Night, and something about bullies. This might come in useful for Quiz nite, she thought. 

Meanwhile TT was under the impression Princess Anne had written Anne of Green Gables, but the graphic novel version would be illustrated by someone else,  which was why she headed to the Rainbow Section first. She found that all the Green books were about gardening. 

Library books were arranged rather differently in Canada.