One time I had a student job cleaning for a rich lady in Remuera. She had a giant villa with a mosaic floor in the kitchen and operated a Hawaiian massage room in the parlour. She was from Manhattan divorced with four children and I remember that her Kiwi husband had left her after she'd had the big house and the big car and maybe it was all too much for him to handle so he ran away to live by himself on Great Barrier Island.
She would leave me home made muesli bars to munch on while I mopped and vacuumed her floors and a cheque for $50 for doing that for 5 hours. It was a big house so it did take that long. I thought it was the best job ever because nobody was on my case telling me what to do. As long as I got the job done.
I soon was fascinated with her trippy massage room though and later when I had to leave the job after my studies ended I asked if I could have a massage, and it was there that she read my colours. She had these bottles of liquid colours I could choose that were meant to represent the state of my soul or some kind of new age thing, and weirdly, I also had some kind of trauma that was present in my body when she touched it. Was it true, that I had been mishandled as was carrying all this trauma in my 19 year old body? Possibly?
Anyway such was that I became an adept at alternative therapies to treat what was then known as my spells of manic depression which nobody could ever find any cure for. I was deathly afraid that I would end up in some kind of group home and never be able to hold down a job like a handicapped mentally deficient person that needed to be locked up. I'd read about such people in Abnormal Pyschology textbooks where it was known that Princess Leia also suffered from Bipolar Disorder, amongst other celebs that mostly killed themselves if they hadn't self-destructed before that.
I wanted to get well I really did, and so tried them all - polarity therapy, shamanism, acupuncture, bowen technique, chiropracters, osteopaths, psychotherapy, yoga, pranic healing, tai chi and my favourite - reiki. Reiki involved lying down on a couch/horizontal massage surface while a Reiki master laid hands on you and moved your energies around. It was all about balancing your aura.
I thought thats it, I will become a Reiki Master. I will then be able to heal myself and others too. It will be fine. So I went to all the workshops and found a healer somewhere in Coatesville and got all the attunements and everything and was well on my way to becoming a master. I did distance healing and even had a session with my ex-boyfriend healing him of childhood trauma and his alcohol problem. I attracted all kinds of broken people who really, just needed a good cry but as I was unable to prescribe crying as a way of releasing trauma the next best thing was to have them lie down while I let the reiki flow out of my hands over their bodies. I could never charge for these sessions, but I knew Reiki Masters taught others how to do it and they would charge for their workshops. The phrase 'love and light' and 'Just for today' was often on their lips and it felt very Zen.
One day while I was having a session of my own after doing some volunteer work gardening for a free clinic in Te Atatu and the healer started having visions. It was not uncommon in some new age circles to encounter these, avatars, angels, and guiding spirits. I'm seeing...Tara she said. Tara was one of the Hindu goddesses. Huh. She was seeing Tara but I was not. We had our eyes closed and were meditating while all this was happening. We were in the spiritual zone. I wasn't seeing Tara. I was seeing Jesus Christ. He was wearing his crown of thorns and he was on the cross and he was being crucified. This vision stayed with me until the end of the session but I didn't want to tell anyone cos I was a bit spooked. Why was I seeing Jesus?
to be continued...
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