Adamant and Evil

God is furious.
He has seen Adam and his woman doing something they shouldn’t be doing.
Especially when he gave Adam strict instructions not to do so.
He has caught them red handed.

What happened?!
Well the story goes like this.

The tree in the garden, all set apart from the rest, is God’s special tree of knowledge of good and evil. The woman doesn’t like that this tree is all by itself. She feels kinda sorry for it. She asks Adam, why is that tree by itself? Adam tells her what the tree is. He says God doesn’t want her to know about it, but he tells her anyway. Don’t eat the fruit of it, or you will die. Well, says the woman, probably doesn’t taste very nice anyway, I won’t even touch it.

No more is said about the tree.
Adam is very happy with his helper. She pretty much does everything for him. When he wants something to eat, she brings him fruit. When he’s tired, she prepares the bed of poppy flowers for him to lie down. She helps him identify more animals he hasn’t named. She sings him songs and makes him laugh. Also she talks non-stop. He likes to hear the sound of her voice.

There is one animal though he hasn’t named or identified. And it is this one that talks to the woman.
She is taken aback. No animal has ever talked to her in her own language before that she can understand. They all make funny noises, but none speak the way they do.
This animal is very peculiar. She has never seen it before. It has wings. It has scales. It is shiny and iridescent. It looks like it has sharp claws on the ends of its feet. It looks kind of like a bat, but also like a man. It walks upright like a bird, on two feet. She says, and what did Adam call you? The creature ignores her question. Instead, it says..come here, I want to show you something. It flies around, showing off its wings. It is wearing a cape like thing on its back.
The woman, fascinated, follows this creature.

Adam is taking a snooze in the sun. He is satisfied after eating a big meal of fruit salad. The woman looks at Adam, stretched out on the poppy bed. She doesn’t really want to leave him, but this new creature is fascinating. Somebody else to talk to! Don’t worry about him, says the creature. Let’s go for a walk.

The woman follows this creature off the beaten track. 

Breakfast at Denny's

Disclaimer -
Anything written here resembling any real life or fiction is strictly coincidental as it is all made up.

A NZ girls' comic adventure roadtrip through America, reality tv, computerbots, and other stuff.

For aspiring actresses, everywhere.

Read the ongoing saga here

Sneak peak - Chapter 1 - The Script

The continuity girl sits behind the director on the movie set. She has an eagle eye for any changes in costume or appearance. We are in a movie, working title, Breakfast at Denny's. It's sort of a play on 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' but more...Texan.

You've been cast as the male lead, along with your wife and children. We had to do a lot of makeup on you as your face kept showing up as red in test shots. Your wife doesn't like her hairstyle and so has asked for a blonde wig. After all, blondes have more fun. Your kids are happy to go along with this cos they will earn an insane amount of pocket money. I'm checking the script. The scene is at the mall, The kids are out of shot. Wife Dee has just left to develop her photos.

The camera is on you and you are looking in the display window outside a jewellery shop eating a green tea icecream. There are no lines? It's a close up. The camera is zooming in.

There's a giant poster of Audrey Hepburn staring back at you. She's at Tiffany's in her little black dress. You have made one suggestion to the director. You wanted Snow Patrol on the soundtrack. But I don't know how we are going to work that in. It could be playing as background music in the shopping mall. But as its Christmas time they'd more likely be playing carols and Christmas music.

I don't know what the next scene is going to be. We have to wrap up all the shots at the mall as we only booked to shoot for today. I check your clothes. Black t-shirt, check. Jeans, a little frayed, check. Props. Green tea ice cream, check. The ice cream is starting to melt. Better eat it quick. I should have got you to eat a danish instead.

The mall is really busy. I have not seen that movie, 'Slackers', but maybe I should. The only one I remember thats set in a mall is 'Clueless' with Alicia Silverstone. I remember it was about a stuck up poor little rich girl ...her dad was a lawyer..who tried to matchmake her new friend with disastrous results. It was based on a Jane Austen novel. No, not the one with Mr Darcy in it. This gig is a bit unreal for me. Y'all talking in American accents, which I find very amusing. I'm sure the angels will be entertained.

Raising Cain - Eve's Lament

Cain deliberately disobeys me
He's a hopeless child
I would send him to the Land of Nod
But he won't go

Abel is my golden child
Always giving good gifts
Spoiling his mum
With wool for sewing

Cain on the other hand
Reminds me of forbidden fruit
He offers them to me
Mocking all my best efforts

I talk to Adam about this
We agree he must go
As soon as he turns 180 years old
We are kicking him out

Two Turtledoves...

According to the Jewish calendar, Jesus was born in the month of Tishri the 15th 3758. His birthday was on the first day of the Feast of the Tabernacles which is also the Jewish New Year. In the Bible the holiday is celebrated with seven days of feasting. On the eighth day Jesus was circumcised according to custom, and Mary and Joseph offered two turtledoves as a sacrifice for their firstborn son.  These dates correspond to mid-September in our calendar  and the autumn harvest. Now I’m not entirely clear why everyone celebrates his birthday on 25^th December but never mind, Happy Belated Birthday Jesus!

Zaccheus

Zaccheus had no friends.
He was a tax collector, so was pretty unpopular. Especially at dinner parties. So what do you do Zaccheus? When he said he collected taxes, I.e, was honest, people backed away from him and didn’t want to join him for coffee. 
Yea, so Zaccheus had no friends.

Also, he hated his job. Who wouldn’t? After all day everyday hounding people for unpaid taxes, and watching big spenders go deeper into debt and then hounding THEM about it, it all became a bit too much. He wanted to throw in the towel but he had a wife and family and thoroughbreds to feed and a mansion to maintain. 

Another thing was he was kind of on the short side. He couldn’t wear high heels as people would laugh at him, but he thought he lost a bit of respect when everyone could see his wife was actually taller than him. 

He didn’t even know how he managed to obtain a wife, but the matchmaker insisted, and well, his wife seemed to like him, at the time. Later he found out she only liked him cos he was good with money. It was a sad state of affairs. And there was nobody to talk to, until he heard of this Jesus fella.

Now Jesus was preaching something radical. He was saying, to give to Caesar what is Caesars and to God what is God’s. And a revelation, God didn’t want his money after all! So all this time spend collecting taxes in which he got no joy from wasn’t what God wanted anyway! Jesus said it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than a rich man to enter heaven. Zaccheus confessed it all true, it was hard. He wanted to give up his riches and follow Jesus, because Jesus didn’t care about his money neither. 

One day Jesus came to town, and everyone was excited. Zaccheus wanted desperately to see him and ask him questions. But he couldn’t see because of the crowds. So he climbed a tree. And funny thing was Jesus immediately spotted Zaccheus and granted him audience. Come down and follow me, said Jesus. I’m going to stay at your place.

Zaccheus climbed down from the tree and hugged Jesus. You are welcome at my house. Everyone was shocked that Jesus would befriend Zaccheus, the rich tax collector who owned half the town. 
That night Zaccheus resolved to put things right with God, by paying back everyone he had defrauded and giving half his possessions to the poor. 

Jesus was very happy and called him a brother as Zaccheus was being honorable and thus saved him from the horrible fate of being a tax collector with no friends.

Story of Adam and Eve, part three

Adam shows the new creature called woman around the garden. He is very happy to have someone to chat to, even is it seems she does all the talking and he just responds. She asks lots of questions. What’s this? And this? And that? Adam is over the moon as he gets to display his facility with words. He named all the animals, and whatever the woman points to, he gives a name, even if he hadn’t named it already, he makes it up.

This?
Cat.
That funny thing?
Bat.
What about that?
Spider
And this?
umm..panda. Humpback whale. Seal.

They seem to have been walking for a while. It is cool in the shade underneath the trees until the woman notices that there is one tree set apart from the rest. Why is that tree all by itself? She asks Adam. Adam says that’s the forbidden tree, and that God said not to eat the fruit of it. The woman accepts this and looks at the tree and surmises. It probably doesn’t taste very nice anyway. 

Adam is getting hungry. He says lets go eat some fruits of all the other trees in the garden. So they have fruit salad. Orange, apple, pineapple, passionfruit, grapes, plums, olives, peaches. 
It is delightful and they are full and satisfied. He hasn’t really let go of the woman’s hand as they walk around the garden eating fruit. He doesn’t want to let her go as it feels like she belongs to him in some way.
The woman sees the animals and they follow her as she shares fruit with them, eating out of her hand. She says she loves them and talks baby talk to them even though they don’t really understand. 

Aww. cat. She strokes the cat. When the birds sing she whistles like the birds. She makes funny noises in imitation and it seems she does understand their language in part. However it is all gibberish to him. 
Adam sees how she loves the cat and wishes the woman would stroke him too. He looks at the womans hair and exclaims how long it is, and that his is not nearly as long. Up to now they hadn’t really looked at each other properly. It is getting dark and the moon is starting to rise and illuminate the sky. He says to the woman, when it gets dark, we go close our eyes as can’t really see anything, and have this wonderful thing called sleep. Will you sleep with me?
The woman says of course. So Adam prepares his bed of poppy flowers and lies down and the woman lies down next to him and they gaze at the stars.
God is good all the time, he says.
The woman says Amen. She yawns and he puts his arm around her and they curl up on the poppy bed.

Then they fall asleep.

Story of Adam and Eve, part two

The sun comes up it’s a new day dawning, Adam says good morning my woman, and the woman starts singing a song -

You are the one who makes me happy
when everything else turns to grey
your’s is the voice that wakes me mornings
and sends me out into the day….

you are the crowd that sits quiet
listening to me
and all the made sense I make
you are one of the few things
worth remembering

and since it’s all true
how can anyone 
mean more to me 
than you…

The woman is plucking something that looks like a string and is making a beautiful sound.
Adam has never heard a song before. The woman then hums a tune and he is fascinated. How does she do this?
He asks God. Why she seems to know all about me? 
God explains something like woman’s intuition. What is it. Why? It is making him feel slightly uncomfortable as if theres butterflies in his stomach. Adam knows there aren’t really butterflies in there, but he knows what they would feel like inside as he named them. 
God then shows him what he did while Adam was sleeping. Adam sees a vision of him asleep and God opening him up and taking out his rib.
Then it all makes sense.
She is made out of him! She is his bone! Her flesh is his flesh! That’s why she’s called woman. 
He slaps his forehead. Facepalm. He feels slightly embarassed and blushes red. 

Thats why it feels warm holding her hand.
He then starts wondering how she can be closer to him so she can be inside him again. Cos nothing feels right except that she is always near. Even when she’s away for a second plucking fruit for breakfast he feels like he always ought to be with her and not let her go far out of his sight.